Justin Drew Bieber, the nineteen year old millionaire Canadian pop musician, actor, and singer-songwriter who I really know nothing to little about, has come up with the solution to many of the problems in the world. His simple solution could resolve problems at all levels. To reinforce his convictions, and to introduce it to the world, last night, in what will soon be seen around the world, he demonstrated his theory, egg fights, throwing eggs.
Little to no damage has ever been attributed to the throwing of eggs. Perhaps some cosmetic damage. One death has been attributed to an egg fight. Harley Farnsworth of Riverside, California, in 1952, was the target of a thrown hard boiled egg, just as he was yawning and the egg lodged in his throat. Unfortunately, he an all his companions were blind, and no one noticed the egg entering his mouth. He could not speak not utter any noises, and his dilemma was not noticed for three days, when John Thorton of Seattle, Washington tripped over his lifeless body, and of course, by then, it was too late.
If the Japanese emissaries had just thrown eggs at our Congress in 1941, WWII might have been avoided. Or, their aircraft has dropped eggs on December 7, all of the murders and assassinations could have been averted. If Booth had just thrown an egg at Lincoln, or if the North had thrown eggs at the South. Estimates are that WWII cost us 350 billion dollars, eggs in those days were 45 cents a dozen.
Justin took drastic measures when he pummeled a neighbors house with eggs, but, his example, his dedication has shown the world what can be done with a dozen eggs.
