Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous. Recently, a female Sheriff's Deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Swinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a "drinking session" when he decided to stop. "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around," he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate for his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. "Guess I was really in to it, you know," he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of "doing the deed," Lawrence failed to notice an approaching Sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Deputy Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he was "humping" away at this pumpkin," Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
"I said, excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are having sex with a pumpkin. He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then, he looked me straight in the eye and said, pumpkin, 'oh hell, ... is it midnight already?"
The court, and the judge, could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty, only on public intoxication, fined $10, and sent on his way. The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as "The Best Comeback line, ever."
