Many have asked about old "Oops" so I called him the other night to see how he was getting on. I had heard he left his "sensitive" job with the post office and was wondering where he was working now.
"Hi Charley, Joe Dooley here, just wondering what you were doing nowadays, ah, oh, sorry, did you drop something .... on the foot, wow, that probably hurt, didn't it?"
Anyway, after he took care of the gash on his foot, he informed me that he was now with NSA in their "Monitoring," as he said they like to call it, section and was in charge of maintaining all of the sensitive eavesdropping and recording devices they use to monitor all telephone calls and follow everyones usage on the internet. "What are you doing, Oops?"
"One day I was using the highly technical and sensitive ZXL-217 Monitoring Calibration Unit and accidentally spilled a cup of coffee on the unit and the heat the unit generates combined with the coffee liquid, caused quite a cloud of steam which rose to the ceiling and caused the sprinkler system to activate, just in the AB Section, which monitors Mongolia, Russia, China and Japan and a few other insignificant countries and we lost all signals and input from them for a few days, but we eventually acquired all of them back on line, we did lose a few days intel though, no harm no foul, so, how are you, Dooley?"
"Good, Charley, you know, samo, samo. Did you part from the PO department amicably?"
"Well, not exactly, Joe. The main PO building there in Washington has a few sub basements that are highly classified, very secret, only a few people know about them. I didn't even know about them till one day we had a large shipment of mail come in from China and the sniffing dogs went nuts, they howled and barked for an hour. With all my experience, they sent me down there to sort it all. I was having a bad day, my morning order for coffee at Starbucks got messed up and I ended up with regular, strong, black coffee instead of decaf, and it, well, I took a trip to the moon, you know what I mean. Well, to make a long story short, I misjudged a few pieces of critical mail, and well, to be honest about it, a few bombs of different sorts got through, and, well, when they hit the MicroSensUnit, well, they exploded. It coulda happened to anyone. Actually, about eight bombs went off and, well, it pretty much did in that whole section. They were nice about it, I got a nice severance thing, all my PER, well, they even gave me a bonus if I left, had never heard of them doing that. I bought a new boat to run down on the river, I guess I'm not meant to be on the water, I didn't clear the gas fumes, and well, had a fire, totalled the boat, got an insurance settlement, so didn't lose anything, money wise. You don't happen to need a new boat trailer, do you Joe?"
We talked a while longer, wished him well in his new job ...... "what you tripped on what?"
