An Obituary printed in the London Times.
An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Brilliant !!
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense ,
who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure
how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple,
sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable
strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health
began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations
were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment
for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after
lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened
his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when
parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to
do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer
sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a
student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to
live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating
when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up
the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of
coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a
huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
