From: Barack Obama
To: All Safety Conscientious Voters
Presidential Order 13499
Re: Post Election Safety Precautions
All voting precincts in all voting locations will be furnished with "I Voted For Obama" badges which can be affixed to clothing as you exit the polling place. One poll worker will be designated as the "Determiner" who will be allowed to check each ballot to verify the vote, and if the ballot indicates an Obama Vote, the "survival conscious" voter will be handed the aforementioned badge which will enable the wearer to exit the polling place. In the event there are any "impromptu, spontaneous, non sponsored, unknown" displays of any kind, the I Voted For Obama badge will insure your safe conduct.
It is suggested the badge be worn for at least one year.
All badges can be turned in anytime after the election and a "safe" period has been reached, and replaced with a "Hillary in 2016," or, perhaps a "Michelle in 2016," or, an unlikely "Clinton/Obama," or the more direct, "Hillary/Michelle."
Don't consider this Presidential Order an invasion of privacy, I just want to insure the safety of all voters, well not all, just some.
/s/ Barack Obama
Barack Obama
President of the United States
