12/14/14 - We are at the point in our lives and our married lives, after fifty years, where, well, just being alive is a small victory. When I go back, in the morning, to wake my wife, I pray that .. well, she is still with us. Generally, if Caleb, out dog, comes out to the living room, that means she has gotten up and well, the first hurdle of the day is over. He came out this morning, but Marilyn was still asleep, so I went back, woke her up, and she asks, "How are you?"
I am 82, sore neck and lower back, and recently have had a Urologist probing, where Urologists probe, unsuccessfully, to remove my kidney stone. Soon, they want me to get to Columbus, Ohio, OSU Hospital, or maybe, The OSU Hospital, where another Urologist will perform the same procedure, only, this one is more like a "corkscrew" ... similar to the ones that miners use to extract coal, in the hopes that it might work.
Friday, I went in for the test. Everyone is so nice and polite. WHY, does everyone in the hospital ask, "How are you?" If I answer fine, then why am I in here, and, I am sure they really don't want to hear the truth. "How are you?"
"Nervous, apprehensive, frightened to death, scared because I have a kidney stone, a large kidney stone, and this team is getting ready to take me to surgery, strap my legs in stirrups, expose me from the waist down, to the world, put me to sleep, and then insert something, similar to a coat hanger, you know where, probe around and try to break up my stone, which is similar to a diamond in hardness, and you ask how I am."
Back to today, Sunday, and the struggle we face each day, just to make it through. My wife is in Afib more than she is out, the result of her treatment to fend off her breast cancer. Her treatment caused her to have Con genitive Heart Failure, etc., etc., etc. She struggles to make it through each day. Low blood pressure, often, which lowers upon standing, dizzy, etc.,
Each day is a challenge for both of us, my problems now render me less able to take care of her.
The challenges of old age. Everyone who lives long enough, goes through it, some better, some worse. This year, not even putting up our Christmas tree, we are skirting the holiday. It looks like it is going to take all we have just to weather the Winter.
Now you know why my "posts" have been few and far between, old age, the Golden Years, the Twilight Years .... they only call them that to make them sound more pleasant. The Declining Years, the Downside Years, the One Day at a Time Season of Life, the Struggling Years ... The End of the Trail ............... advertising ..............
