Hi, Charley Parkinson here, glad to meet you Harley, you want to go to work in this department, right?
Well Harley, we are a tight knit group here, takes a special person to do this job, oops, sorry, didn't mean to kick you.
I looked over your application, I see you have an IQ of 85, that puts you right about in the group we are looking for. Have you had any problems with nerves or any mental disorders of any kind?
Great, oh, well, ah, seizures like that can be controlled medically, can't they?
Oh no, we will train you, we have an extensive training program that we offer.
Well, it's just seven days, but very extensive, oh, i'm sorry, did that paperweight hit you on the foot?
It consists of opening envelopes, how easy is that, eh?
Well no, actually we give you what we laughingly call ... protective clothing.
Yes, on a few occasions you will need a gas mask, just on certain occasions.
Well, you start out with mail for the representatives, then graduate to the congressmen, and your ultimate goal is to reach the top and check correspondence for the president.
Yes, of the United States, impressive huh?
Yea, you might say we have turnover. Well, we had to do away with medical insurance, you know, ah, the premiums got way to high. What we do, well, we all kick in five dollars each week .........
Well, we buy Powerball tickets, and when we hit, well we're gonna start a trust fund to help pay for those hospital bills, whoa, I am really sorry, that coffee was really hot, wasn't it ..... oh I bet that burns ... here's some Kleenex, ugh, sorry, didn't mean to drop the box ..................
No, we haven't hit yet, you know anyone that can claim you on their insurance.
Hey Harley, did you hit your head when you fell ..... now, was that one of your seizures ...
Well, just lay there for a while, and then report to fitting for your protective clothing, can you start tomorrow?
