I wrote this last year for a Spoof site I am on. With the holiday season speeding upon us, someone wanted it reposted.
Harry Caster, through his attorney C. Brewton Collier revealed today that a family Thanksgiving Dinner was ruined when a "breast implant" was discovered in their turkey.
"It was devastating for the family," Collier stated, "You can just imagine, that after a lengthy pre-dinner Thanksgiving Prayer, given by their cousin, the Reverend Dennison Sanker, Pastor of the Fourteenth Avenue Church of the Open Book, in Highland Park, which was offered right after the grand entrance of the platter carrying the tastefully prepared and deeply browned bird being carried in by the family cook, Estelle Patrone, that the discovery, needless to say, ruined the day.
Caster had meticulously sharpened his carving knife, and with a grand gesture, took his first cut into the breast of the bird, which penetrated the breast implant and squirted the heated contents over all the fourteen relatives in attendance.
Collier went on to say, "The stuff in that thing was over heated and the material had expanded and when Harry just touched it with that sharp knife of his, it exploded. It apparently wasn't implanted too deep because it shot out of that turkey and did one circle around the room like a balloon. It finally ended up in Aunt Sarah Morton's cranberry and walnut sauce.
Caster ended up taking the group to The Family Buffet for dinner.
It is anticipated that Judge Brenda Carlson will eventually hear the case. No court date has been set.
The origin of the elective surgery has not been determined.
