Harry Caster, through his attorney C. Brewton Collier revealed today that a family Thanksgiving Dinner was ruined when a "breast implant" was discovered in their turkey.
"It was devastating for the family," Collier stated, "You can just imagine, that after a lengthy pre-dinner Thanksgiving Prayer, given by their cousin, the Reverend Dennison Sanker, Pastor of the Fourteenth Avenue Church of the Open Book, in Highland Park, which was offered right after the grand entrance of the platter carrying the tastefully prepared and deeply browned bird being carried in by the family cook, Estelle Patrone, that the discovery, needless to say, ruined the day.
Caster had meticulously sharpened his carving knife, and with a grand gesture, took his first cut into the breast of the bird, which penetrated the breast implant and squirted the heated contents over all the fourteen relatives in attendance.
Collier went on to say, "The stuff in that thing was over heated and the material had expanded and when Harry just touched it with that sharp knife of his, it exploded. It apparently wasn't implanted too deep because it shot out of that turkey and did one circle around the room like a balloon. It finally ended up in Aunt Sarah Morton's cranberry and walnut sauce.
Caster ended up taking the group to The Family Buffet for dinner.
It is anticipated that Judge Brenda Carlson will eventually hear the case. No court date has been set.
The origin of the elective surgery has not been determined.
Showing posts with label breast implant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breast implant. Show all posts
Friday, November 18, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Thanksgiving Memory
I wrote this last year for a Spoof site I am on. With the holiday season speeding upon us, someone wanted it reposted.
Harry Caster, through his attorney C. Brewton Collier revealed today that a family Thanksgiving Dinner was ruined when a "breast implant" was discovered in their turkey.
"It was devastating for the family," Collier stated, "You can just imagine, that after a lengthy pre-dinner Thanksgiving Prayer, given by their cousin, the Reverend Dennison Sanker, Pastor of the Fourteenth Avenue Church of the Open Book, in Highland Park, which was offered right after the grand entrance of the platter carrying the tastefully prepared and deeply browned bird being carried in by the family cook, Estelle Patrone, that the discovery, needless to say, ruined the day.
Caster had meticulously sharpened his carving knife, and with a grand gesture, took his first cut into the breast of the bird, which penetrated the breast implant and squirted the heated contents over all the fourteen relatives in attendance.
Collier went on to say, "The stuff in that thing was over heated and the material had expanded and when Harry just touched it with that sharp knife of his, it exploded. It apparently wasn't implanted too deep because it shot out of that turkey and did one circle around the room like a balloon. It finally ended up in Aunt Sarah Morton's cranberry and walnut sauce.
Caster ended up taking the group to The Family Buffet for dinner.
It is anticipated that Judge Brenda Carlson will eventually hear the case. No court date has been set.
The origin of the elective surgery has not been determined.
Harry Caster, through his attorney C. Brewton Collier revealed today that a family Thanksgiving Dinner was ruined when a "breast implant" was discovered in their turkey.
"It was devastating for the family," Collier stated, "You can just imagine, that after a lengthy pre-dinner Thanksgiving Prayer, given by their cousin, the Reverend Dennison Sanker, Pastor of the Fourteenth Avenue Church of the Open Book, in Highland Park, which was offered right after the grand entrance of the platter carrying the tastefully prepared and deeply browned bird being carried in by the family cook, Estelle Patrone, that the discovery, needless to say, ruined the day.
Caster had meticulously sharpened his carving knife, and with a grand gesture, took his first cut into the breast of the bird, which penetrated the breast implant and squirted the heated contents over all the fourteen relatives in attendance.
Collier went on to say, "The stuff in that thing was over heated and the material had expanded and when Harry just touched it with that sharp knife of his, it exploded. It apparently wasn't implanted too deep because it shot out of that turkey and did one circle around the room like a balloon. It finally ended up in Aunt Sarah Morton's cranberry and walnut sauce.
Caster ended up taking the group to The Family Buffet for dinner.
It is anticipated that Judge Brenda Carlson will eventually hear the case. No court date has been set.
The origin of the elective surgery has not been determined.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Keeping abreast of the situation ...........
When, who and how and why did they decide that under most circumstances, men could not see the nipple on a woman's breast. Ninety percent of it can be exposed, but not the red part on the end. Who decided that?
Why not the left half of the whole thing, or the right half, top or bottom. inside or outside. Why just the nipple?
There are nude beaches where the whole thing is exposed. Girlie magazines show everything, but have a star or a circle or some kind of cover, over that sacred nipple. Where did that custom ever start?
Some cultures don't cover anything, some "burlesque" shows exposed all, but had a pasty over that part of the breast.
Did women or men make that original decision? "Oh my God, don't show the nipple." Why was that?
Statues in the park will show men totally unclothed, women, the same, but generally something over the breasts.Do you think that God told Eve she could "bare it all" to Adam, but "keep a leaf or something, over those nipples." God had infinite wisdom, but what was the rationale behind that decision?
What got me on that subject, I was waiting for my wife getting some tests done at the hospital and I was in their "Education" room. Nice and quiet, nice furniture, carpeted, quiet, great coffee, and I was sitting in this nice, quiet atmosphere, and on the shelf was a cross section of a breast, but I couldn't see the nipple because a book was in front of it.
I enjoy sitting in that room, great "People watching" place, windows, but secluded, I can watch everyone going and coming in the hospital. At my age, all my friends are either in the hospital or visiting someone, so I see a lot of old friends, but they don't see me, I like it that way.
Why not the left half of the whole thing, or the right half, top or bottom. inside or outside. Why just the nipple?
There are nude beaches where the whole thing is exposed. Girlie magazines show everything, but have a star or a circle or some kind of cover, over that sacred nipple. Where did that custom ever start?
Some cultures don't cover anything, some "burlesque" shows exposed all, but had a pasty over that part of the breast.
Did women or men make that original decision? "Oh my God, don't show the nipple." Why was that?
Statues in the park will show men totally unclothed, women, the same, but generally something over the breasts.Do you think that God told Eve she could "bare it all" to Adam, but "keep a leaf or something, over those nipples." God had infinite wisdom, but what was the rationale behind that decision?
What got me on that subject, I was waiting for my wife getting some tests done at the hospital and I was in their "Education" room. Nice and quiet, nice furniture, carpeted, quiet, great coffee, and I was sitting in this nice, quiet atmosphere, and on the shelf was a cross section of a breast, but I couldn't see the nipple because a book was in front of it.
I enjoy sitting in that room, great "People watching" place, windows, but secluded, I can watch everyone going and coming in the hospital. At my age, all my friends are either in the hospital or visiting someone, so I see a lot of old friends, but they don't see me, I like it that way.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Tragic Thanksgiving Dinner - TinC News Release
Harry Caster, through his attorney C. Brewton Collier revealed today that a family Thanksgiving Dinner was ruined when a "breast implant" was discovered in their turkey.
"It was devastating for the family," Collier stated, "You can just imagine, that after a lengthy pre-dinner Thanksgiving Prayer, given by their cousin, the Reverend Dennison Sanker, Pastor of the Fourteenth Avenue Church of the Open Book, in Highland Park, which was offered right after the grand entrance of the platter carrying the tastefully prepared and deeply browned bird being carried in by the family cook, Estelle Patrone, that the discovery, needless to say, ruined the day.
Caster had meticulously sharpened his carving knife, and with a grand gesture, took his first cut into the breast of the bird, which penetrated the breast implant and squirted the heated contents over all the fourteen relatives in attendance.
Collier went on to say, "The stuff in that thing was over heated and the material had expanded and when Harry just touched it with that sharp knife of his, it exploded. It apparently wasn't implanted too deep because it shot out of that turkey and did one circle around the room like a balloon. It finally ended up in Aunt Sarah Morton's cranberry and walnut sauce.
Caster ended up taking the group to The Family Buffet for dinner.
It is anticipated that Judge Brenda Carlson will eventually hear the case. No court date has been set.
The origin of the elective surgery has not been determined.
"It was devastating for the family," Collier stated, "You can just imagine, that after a lengthy pre-dinner Thanksgiving Prayer, given by their cousin, the Reverend Dennison Sanker, Pastor of the Fourteenth Avenue Church of the Open Book, in Highland Park, which was offered right after the grand entrance of the platter carrying the tastefully prepared and deeply browned bird being carried in by the family cook, Estelle Patrone, that the discovery, needless to say, ruined the day.
Caster had meticulously sharpened his carving knife, and with a grand gesture, took his first cut into the breast of the bird, which penetrated the breast implant and squirted the heated contents over all the fourteen relatives in attendance.
Collier went on to say, "The stuff in that thing was over heated and the material had expanded and when Harry just touched it with that sharp knife of his, it exploded. It apparently wasn't implanted too deep because it shot out of that turkey and did one circle around the room like a balloon. It finally ended up in Aunt Sarah Morton's cranberry and walnut sauce.
Caster ended up taking the group to The Family Buffet for dinner.
It is anticipated that Judge Brenda Carlson will eventually hear the case. No court date has been set.
The origin of the elective surgery has not been determined.
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