T in C Spoof article for today

Nik Wollenda, world renown tightrope walker, after his spectacular 25 minute, 1800 foot walk on wire above Niagara Falls was denied access by Canadian Border Patrol agents because there are no laws on the books for entering Canada on a rope.

Agent Pierre Fontaine stated, "We have searched every law, and it appears that entering Canada on a tightrope is just not acceptable. He can walk in, come in on a bicycle, car, bus, train or airplane, but not on a wire. We reluctantly had to make him retrace his walk back over on his wire to the United States."

RCMP Lieutenant Ralph Preston further stated, "Legislation has already been introduced in Ottawa to alleviate this wrong, and we hope that Mr. Wollenda can repeat this spectacular feat as soon as the law goes in to effect. We don't expect it to create a trend that many living down country will follow."

Billy Ward

Anyone remember Billy Ward and the Dominoes? Clyde McFatter, Jackie Wilson?

Deep Purple, St. Theresa of the Roses, Stardust, Sixty Minute Man, were some of their hits, they had a number of them and I think Billy wrote a lot of them.

I got to know them when they played the Golden Hotel in Reno. In those days, blacks could entertain, but they were not allowed to "mingle" with the customers in the room. The Golden was a hotel, and let them have rooms in the hotel. Not many did that in those days. I remember Sammy Davis and his uncle did their show at the Mapes and had to stay in a motel way out on Sough Virginia.

On a number of occasions we had Billy and his group out for dinner, not too many restaurants that we could go to together. They always enjoyed the home cooking, they loved my fried chicken, mashed potatoes, pan gravy, peas and biscuits.

A friend of a friend saw Billy's picture in the Reno Entertainment Section and was interested in meeting him. I arranged to go up to their room at the Golden after their last show of the evening, so that she could meet him. Mixed relationships were frowned on in those days, blacks were not even allowed in the casinos yet, so a mixed relationship was frowned on and difficult to work out, and she had a young daughter from a previous marriage. I think they eventually got married and moved to California, last I heard of them.

I corresponded with a couple of the Dominoes after I left an came back to Ohio, but eventually lost contact with them. They were a good lounge act, played well to the audience, good material and acknowledged their friends from the stage. Always thought that was smart.

The Gaylords, The Vagabonds, Louis Prima, Sam Butera, there were a lot of great lounge acts in those days, I wonder what they have today?

Phone Call

Recent telephone call ............. could be from a recent winner in a gubernatorial election in the Midwest. I actually got an Email from the governor elect who wanted my ideas and suggestions to get the state back on its feet. I sent him an Email,, "You said you had solutions, that's why I voted for you.' He also wanted a resume, for some reason, and, I think he would accept donations ........ I could picture him making the call below ..

Oh, hi, this is your new governor, or the governor elect, is your mommy home?

Ok, could I talk with her?

Hi, I'm the newly elected Governor of this state, and ah, well, I made a lot of promises and told everyone that I had solutions to our problems ... and ... ah ..... well, I got elected and I was wondering if you had any good ideas that I might use.

Ah, no, I am serious, I'm going down my list of contributors and your name was on the list. Oh, and ah thanks for that nice donation, it helped me get elected.

Have you lived in the state long?

Oh, great, then you must have some ideas.

Well, I know what I said, but, well, to be honest, I made a lot of statements and promises that were, well, said to get me elected, to be honest about it.

Frankly, I never thought I would win, but I did, and now I have to do something, and to be honest with you, I'm at a loss.

You, ah, really don't have any ideas or suggestions. Well, no, we can't send your money back.

Lady, I just thought you might have some good ideas that I could use.

Hey that's not nice.