Phone Call to China

I realize that we owe China a lot of money, but, how do you go about borrowing, say a Trillion. Who do you call, how about collateral, which bank, lots of questions? I can just imagine ......................

Hello, First Bank of Chunking, President Obama of the United States here, I want to inquire about borrowing some money, who would I speak with. Mr. Chang, Thanks.

Hello, Chang, Barack Obama here, what, yes, the President of the United States.

Well, you probably have heard, I have been spending a lot of taxpayer money lately, on different programs and things, and well, with the war going on and all, we find ourselves a little short on cash this month. Our payments are adding up, you know, the war, social security, medicare, and well, to be honest, I owe some gas money on my airplane.

I know I use it a lot, wouldn't you, it's one hell of a trip riding around in that thing, everybody calls me Captain and Sir, hell Chang, you'd use it a lot too.

Anyway, back to that loan. I'm thinking maybe a Trillion would hold us over for a while.

What. Collateral?

You want the Grand Canyon and Yosemite. No, not Bryce, that's a Mormon thing and I don't want to stir them up.

Hey, you've already got California and look at the mess you're making out there. Hey, he was only the Terminator in the movies, that was all make believe. Ok, if you say so, just like World War Two.

What, no, I'm good to win the next election, I've got them snowed. What, ah, snowed, buffaloed, bamboozled, under my thumb, so to speak.

You might be right on that, but that's politics, tell them one thing, do another, play both sides against the middle, hell, they elected me and I'm not even a citizen, how dumb is that?

Anyway, about the Trillion, are we good on that. OK, you've got the Grand Canyon and Yosemite, plus all the other stuff you own, we don't have much left, do we. Yeah, we may be a little slow paying. We're working on a deal with Brazil, may sell them Alaska, what, who, when, you already have that. That shoots that loan in the butt.

Hey, well, thanks Chang, Ohio, no, that's not right, Sayonora, yeah, I know, you already own Ohio.

Not for me to know

Why would anyone want to be a Grief Counselor?

"And what do you want to be when you grow up, little girl?"

"I want to be a Grief Counselor when I grow up."

Never happened.


I did some searching.
 
The American Academy of Grief Counseling offers four online CEU courses for those who have met the criteria of an earned degree, and would like to complete the requirement for 100 additional hours of continuing education in grief counseling.
 
Urologists, proctologists and grief counseling, I just don't understand it.

Remember that figure .............. 545

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.


545

Words of Wisdom from Charley Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them...

Ciinderella, how it really ended up .................

  You'll never believe it. My bitchy old step mother who works me like a dog, cleaning, doing dishes, cooking, doing the wash ..... well, somehow, I guess I had a fairy Godmother that I didn't even know about, well she showed up and sez she is gonna see that I get to go to the big dance up at the kings place.
  She gets me this dress, fixes my hair, really cleaned me up good, and then, well you ain't gonna believe what she did next. She took a pumpkin, tapped it with a stick she had and it turned in to a beautiful carriage, and to top that off, she turned some mice into horses. I ended up with grooms, drivers, the whole shebang.
  All the stuff she fixed me up with was really nice, except for the shoes, and they were made out of fine crystal. How can you have a good time trying to dance in Crystall shoes, well, she called them slippers.
  Well, it was time to go. I got into the carriage, and those horses took off. The last thing that she told me as we were driving off, "Be on your way home, by the stroke of midnight. At 12, you lose it all.
  "Why 12?"
  "Don't ask, it's just a good time for it all to end."
  So I went to the ball, ate escargot and shrimp and lobster, great spread, all sorts of fish and chicken and pastry. They even had some black fish egg stuff that the guy serving said was from Russia. I had never heard of Russia so I didn't eat any.
  I was washing all that good stuff down with some bubbly drink they had in fancy glasses, and this really good looking guy comes over and asks me to dance. I said to him, "You look like a Prince."
  He said, "I am."
  Whoa, I was dancin with the Prince himself. He kept askin me to dance and we danced and danced.
  Then I heard the old clock on the wall start striking and I looked at the big clock  and it was going on midnight. Ugg, I remembered what my good Fairy said, gave a quick nod and a goodbye to the Prince, and went running.
  Anyway, I started running for the stairs, the Prince was chasing not too far behind, the damn clock was chiming away, and then half way down the stairs one of those crystal slippers came off, I was going to stop and pick it up, but just decided to keep going.
  Well, right out in front of this place the whole thing went away, the carriage, the horses, the drivers, the grooms, it all just poofed away, so here I am, still in this fancy dress, wearing one damn crystal slipper, and about 5 miles away from home ... Oh, yea, I don't have any money, can one of you guys buy me a drink, I'll give you a glass slipper for one.