I used to head to Grandma's house a lot, take a shortcut through the woods, and take her stuff to eat. She was getting Meals on Wheels and it just wasn't working for her, so a few times a week I would pack up some goodies for her.
Well, one day I was tired and didn't feel like fixing her anything and a new McDonald's opened up at the edge of the woods near the freeway, so I thought I would give it a shot and surprise Grams with a Big Mac and some fries and a shake. I'm not rich, but I get a nice monthly income from the State, a little from the County, and, well, I'm not proud of it, but one day a guy in a big Caddy stopped and tried to pick me up and I screamed like crazy, the police came. Well, bottom line, I got a nice settlement out of that, being an orphan and wearing the hood and all, I had the jury eating out of my hands.
OK, back to the story. I was a little hungry that day, so I got a burger, fries and a shake for myself. It was a lot easier going to McDonald's that fixing anything, so I started going there every day. Then I got hooked on the Double Burger and the Big Mac and that Quarter Pounder. Then I started getting up earlier and went there for an Egg McMuffin, and some days the Big Breakfast. Then back home and around noon head back to get stuff for Grams, and for me a burger, fries and a shake.
Then, one afternoon Grams and I watched a flick, "Autumn in New York" I think it was. So it was late when I left, and the sad movie made me hungry, so I stopped and got dinner at Mickey Dees, McDonald's, more burgers fries and shakes.
So now I'm doin three meals a day there and the only exercise I'm getting is that little walk through the woods to Grandma's house.
Then one day I noticed the Big Bad Wolfe hiding behind a tree, and when he saw me he just shook his head, and I think I heard him say, "WOW, I can't eat THAT much, she looks like she might even be having a baby, bummer."
