My Wife always wanted a riding lawn mower.

She works all day and was always tired when she came home from work

and thought that a riding lawn mower would help her get the yard work done

quicker so she would have more time for the chores inside the house.

SO, being the handy sort of guy that I am, I made her a riding lawn mower.

I guess I thought she would squeal with delight or something and

give me a big hug.

To this day I have never been able to understand why some women are

so hard to please.

P.S. I can see out of my left eye pretty good now and should be able to

 leave the hospital some time next week!

Who Pays For Red, White & BOOM!?

by Marshall McPeek

Many people have written to NBC 4 and nbc4i.com to ask why, in a difficult economy, the city is spending tax dollars to put on such a lavish fireworks display and celebration.

The good news for taxpayers is: There are no tax dollars being spent on Red, White & BOOM!

The entire cost is picked up by corporate sponsors, fees charged for concession spaces, beverage sales and private-party site rentals.

"I think Red, White & Boom is a shameful waste of money," wrote NBC 4 viewer Vickie Martin. "I'm sure it costs $100s of thousands of dollars to put on this show."

Red, White & BOOM! has a budget of nearly $500,000. That covers the cost of the huge fireworks display plus all the extra police, firefighters and cleanup.

"We pay for those police that are special duty as overtime -- and it's a significant number within the budget," says BOOM! Executive Director Mike Collins. "The police that are normally on duty anyway, or assigned to be on duty, that is picked up by the city because it's part of their direct assignment. It's everything over that that the event pays for."

Collins says the event actually generates tax dollars for the city because it is a huge draw for visitors and tourists. It's the largest one-day event in Ohio.

"It brings in between $8 million to $9 million in economic impact in a one-day proposition," Collins points out. "So, if you just take taxes and bed taxes and put other things on top of this, this is an extremely valuable commodity to the operations of the community."

I see some communities have cancelled, or changed their festivities for this year due to the economy. It appears that the display in Columbus, Ohio is subsidized by sponsors. I would rather see them take that half-million and put on a BIG picnic and day long celebration of our Independence, and invite the homeless and the hungry in Central Ohio. I have always wondered how many homeless and hungry are looking up at the fireworks display, and what is going through thier minds.?

I can imagine nothing worse than some poor child, living in a park or under a bridge, hungry, looking up and watching, as the brilliant fireworks explode in the sky. What thoughts must run through such a child's mind?

What really happened to Little Red Riding Hood

Trust me, no Big Bad Wolf did me in. It was the Big Golden Arch.
  I used to head to Grandma's house a lot, take a shortcut through the woods, and take her stuff to eat. She was getting Meals on Wheels and it just wasn't working for her, so a few times a week I would pack up some goodies for her.
  Well, one day I was tired and didn't feel like fixing her anything and a new McDonald's opened up at the edge of the woods near the freeway, so I thought I would give it a shot and surprise Grams with a Big Mac and some fries and a shake. I'm not rich, but I get a nice monthly income from the State, a little from the County, and, well, I'm not proud of it, but one day a guy in a big Caddy stopped and tried to pick me up and I screamed like crazy, the police came. Well, bottom line, I got a nice settlement out of that, being an orphan  and wearing the hood and all, I had the jury eating out of my hands.
  OK, back to the story. I was a little hungry that day, so I got a burger, fries and a shake for myself. It was a lot easier going to McDonald's that fixing anything, so I started going there every day. Then I got hooked on the Double Burger and the Big Mac and that Quarter Pounder. Then I started getting up earlier and went there for an Egg McMuffin, and some days the Big Breakfast. Then back home and around noon head back to get stuff for Grams, and for me a burger, fries and a shake.
  Then, one afternoon Grams and I watched a flick, "Autumn in New York" I think it was. So it was late when I left, and the sad movie made me hungry, so I stopped and got dinner at Mickey Dees, McDonald's, more burgers fries and shakes.
  So now I'm doin three meals a day there and the only exercise I'm getting is that little walk through the woods to Grandma's house.
  Then one day I noticed the Big Bad Wolfe hiding behind a tree, and when he saw me he just shook his head, and I think I heard him say, "WOW, I can't eat THAT much, she looks like she might even be having a baby, bummer."