Pope gets a free lunch

Pope Francis has lunch at the Vatican workers' cafeteria, Friday, July 25, 2014. 

Pope Francis got a free meal on Friday when he popped in unannounced at the Vatican workers' cafeteria and lined up, tray in hand, along with stunned diners. 

Cashier Claudia Di Giacomo told Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano that when Francis presented his tray with a plate of cod fish, a bowl of fusilli pasta without sauce, a side of grilled tomatoes and "just a few" french fries she "didn't have the courage to hand him the bill." 

Francis chatted with his tablemates five Vatican pharmacy stock clerks. His tip? A papal blessing and photos snapped with diners, said the cafeteria chef, Franco Paini. The pope usually dines at the Vatican guest house where he lives. (AP Photo/L'Osservatore Romano)

Pope Faces Serious Health Concerns as Holy Land Trip Begins

As Pope Francis begins a trip to the Holy Land on Saturday with a rigorous schedule that could be challenging even for the healthiest person, Vatican insiders are raising questions about the pontiff's health.

Some in the Holy See are beginning to openly discuss concerns about Francis' condition and asking if the Holy Father is overtaxing himself.

Less than two years into his papacy, the 77-year-old Pope has been on a remarkable whirlwind of activity that a man half his age might find difficult to keep up with.

But close observers are noting that the Pope's physical body may be failing to keep up with his youthful energy and vigor, especially considering he only has one fully functioning lung.

Why not???????

WASHINGTON, DC - Sources close to the White House have learned that Barack Obama is planning to run for the office of Pope when the College of Cardinals convenes to elect a successor to ailing Benedict XVI at the end of this month. Calling on the promise of Equality for All, Obama is said to firmly believe that the time has come for a non-Catholic to occupy the Vatican's highest office.

Foreseeing a looming citizenship issue he states that he has discovered an Italian birth certificate that proves he was born in Rome before he was born in Kenya. "That Hawaiian birth certificate never has been worth what I paid for it anyway", he noted.

Continuing, he concluded, "And there's no way that a handful of cardinals could be more expensive to buy than 10 million voters in Michigan." Further questions should be directed to Obama's Papal Campaign Manager, Abdul Azeem Khan.

Could Jesus retire?

Could Jesus retire? The Pope is going to, almost the same thing.

How much money does the Pope make, and will he still get retirement the same as our "government" officials, how about Secret Service, or whatever they call it over there. What did they do six centuries ago when that Pope retired? I wonder, too, if there was any "bonus" money paid to him. I wonder if he even has a bank account, or has any insurance agent gotten to him to work on his retirement program.

"Hello, ah, I'm Harry Johnson with Metropolitan, and I was wondering, who I could talk to about setting up a nice retirement program for the Pope, is he in right now. I've heard some folks get an "audience" with him, do I have to do that, and are there gonna be all those people in the room too, some of the questions might be kinda personal."

Can you imagine the chaos in the world if Jesus announced that he was retiring.  "Well, I just don't think enough people believe in me anymore. I see all that is going on in the world, and, well, I just get discouraged. If Benedict can do it, then I may give it a shot. People can still believe in me whether I'm in the office or not, let's face it, the whole thing is built on faith."

Pope Benedict XVI to Step Down on Feb. 28

Pope Benedict XVI announced Monday he would step down Feb. 28, the first pontiff to do so in nearly 600 years. The decision sets the stage for a conclave to elect a new pope before the end of March.

The 85-year-old pope announced his decision in Latin during a meeting of Vatican cardinals Monday morning.  Greg Burke, senior communication adviser to the Holy See, also confirmed his abdication to NBC News.

"After having repeatedly examined my conscience before God, I have come to the certainty that my strengths due to an advanced age are no longer suited to an adequate exercise of the Petrine ministry," he told the cardinals. "I am well aware that this ministry, due to its essential spiriual nature, must be carried out not only by words and deeds but no less with prayer and suffering.

However, in today's world, subject to so many rapid changes and shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith, in order to govern the bark of St. Peter and proclaim the Gospel, both strength of mind and body are necessary — strengths which in the last few months, has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognize my incapacity to adequately the ministry entrusted to me."

The last pope to leave his post was Pope Gregory XII, who stepped down in 1415 in a deal to end the Great Western Schism among competing papal claimants.

DDDDAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is more popular than House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, according to a new bipartisan poll released Wednesday.

Kinda like saying:

People prefer hamburgers over goatburgers
People prefer the Pope over Osama bin Laden
A poll from the 40's revealed that Americans preferred Roosevelt over Hitler
Bikers prefer a Harley Davidson over a Cushman motor scooter
Most children prefer ice cream over asparagus
Most people prefer a sunny day to a rainy day
A recent poll showed that people prefer swimming over drowning
Most people prefer McDonalds to Bills Bargain Burgers
A recent poll revealed that people prefer watching TV with the sound on, rather than off.

The Battleground Poll conducted for George Washington University found 42 percent of likely voters have a favorable opinion of Palin, the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee who stepped down last week as governor of Alaska. The survey found 47 percent had an unfavorable opinion of Palin.