The Talking Dog

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:


'Talking Dog For Sale"

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young..

I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard."
 

Bridges for Sale

US President Barack Obama's approval ratings have hit a nine-month high, probably boosted by a largely positive response to his handling of this month's shooting in Tucson, an opinion poll released on Tuesday showed.

Nearly eight out of 10 Americans rated his handling of the January 8 shooting positively, and 54 per cent approved of the job he was doing as president, a Washington Post-ABC News poll said, the highest approval rating he has had since April.

Obama gave a prime time speech at a memorial service for the victims of the Tucson shooting last week.

I am coming out of retirement and going in to real estate. I have listings on the Brooklyn Bridge, The Golden Gate Bridge and the Mackinaw Bridge, and working on some others. There must be a large number of potential buyers, people who will buy anything, people who will let me do their thinking for them, and make their decisions for them, because they are not capable of doing that. They will buy those bridges from me.

There is a tragedy in Arizona, Obama turns it into a political rally, and the people buy that. A ruler, of questionable character and intentions, comes to visit, and he is treated like royalty, and those same potential bridge buyers accept it.

We don't manufacture squat anymore, what the hell is it that Obama was talking about, "We want to sell you all kinds of stuff," the U.S, president said, drawing laughter from the packed room (they probably knew we didn't have anything to sell).

 BILLIONS of cell phones have been manufactured and sold, how many were made in the USA ................. NONE. Perhaps we can collect all the illegal drugs that come in to the country, and resell them to China. That's about all we have a monoply on. OK, great idea, let's build CASINOS in China, they love to gamble. Instead of Ohio, build those four in China somewhere.

The healthcare debate is now running 50/50. I would not be surprised to see it stay as is.

Obama and his advisers are winning the race, they are outplaying the opposition. Another month and his approval rating will skyrocket. His rhetoric is soothing the Conservative beast.

New Republican slogan, "Wait till 2016." And, I would not be surprised to see new legislaation introduced to allow the president to serve an unlimited term, eight years just won't be enough. Then the Conservative Battle Cry will be ........ "Wait till ????," or, "Just wait till Obama retires."