Now, I realize that I am old, I do not feel old, at times, but logic tells me that I am, in fact, old. I have a number of instances during the day where I have to wonder if .... was that my last breath? A chest pain of some kind, probably a stomach problem, but makes me wonder.
I do pray at night before going to sleep, I seriously ask Him, to help me make it through the night and see another morning. I thank Him, again, in the morning for giving me another day. "We thank the for these and all thy many blessings." Stated before dinner, words, meant little. Now, there is one hundred percent sincerity in all my prayers, they come from the heart.
Some events I have listened to or watched for many years. The Indianapolis 500, Kentucky Derby, some NCAA tournaments, March Madness and some others. When the event is over, I always wonder if I will be around to see it, next year. Same for Christmas, Thanksgiving and the other holidays.
At 80 you are acutely aware that the road ahead is so much shorter than the road behind. I have accepted that fact and don't dwell on it, it is just a fact of life. I don't dwell on what I will be missing when I am gone. I would love to stay around as long as possible to see Miss Brooklyn and Miss Emma and Zack and Ashley grow up, but I have been blessed to spend this much time with them, so I guess rather than being apprehensive, I just stay, thankful for the time I have been allotted. I never knew a grandparent. Now, I am a great grandparent, I am thankful for that.
There is a song, sung by a Frog, "It's not easy being green." The same sentiment goes for being 80.
