Gore Predicts Decrease in Wind

Commenting on a recently released report by his research company, ex-Vice President and authority on Global Warming, Al Gore announced at a press conference in Chicago, "This won't be the 'Windy City' very long. We are using wind at an alarming rate, and in the not to distant future this valuable resource is going to be depleted."


He was referring to the erection of the large "windmills" or wind power sources, all over the world. Gore stated," they are using the conversion of wind energy using wind turbines to make electricity, wind mills for mechanical power, wind pumps for pumping water or drainage, or sails to propel ships and the wind source is being depleted."

Wind has gotten scarce in Holland, so much so that there is actually a "black market" for wind which is needed to propel all the windmills located there. Dann Svenson of Abbekerk in the Muncipality of Noorder-Koggenland declared, "Ve uused to hab more vind dan ve new whut to do witth dem purty leetle mills run the whole day."

There was actually less wind than originally thought. Early estimates showed enough of this resource to last for well over 300 years, but as consumption has increased this estimate has decreased to perhaps under 100 years.

Gore and his engineers are working on large fans to propel the giant windmills. Their first design utilized wind power to propel the giant fans and this was eventually deemed impractical.

Their latest design requires an enormous amount of electricity to propel the fans, and at present with the wind from the electric fan propelling the windmills, it operates at a loss of $45,000.00 per hour.

New systems are under study.

Better SAFE than SORRY

WARNING - THIS APPLIES TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN

BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE
-- NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (This is NOT one of my jokes)

Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating... You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse.

When you look into the rear view mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view.

When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.

And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car.

So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!

BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.

If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this in DOOLEY OBSERVED.

I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands...