UPDATE on Charlie "Oops" Parkinson

Many have asked about old "Oops" so I called him the other night to see how he was getting on. I had heard he left his "sensitive" job with the post office and was wondering where he was working now.

"Hi Charley, Joe Dooley here, just wondering what you were doing nowadays, ah, oh, sorry, did you drop something .... on the foot, wow, that probably hurt, didn't it?"

Anyway, after he took care of the gash on his foot, he informed me that he was now with NSA in their "Monitoring," as he said they like to call it, section and was in charge of maintaining all of the sensitive eavesdropping and recording devices they use to monitor all telephone calls and follow everyones usage on the internet. "What are you doing, Oops?"

"One day I was using the highly technical and sensitive ZXL-217 Monitoring Calibration Unit and accidentally spilled a cup of coffee on the unit and the heat the unit generates combined with the coffee liquid, caused quite a cloud of steam which rose to the ceiling and caused the sprinkler system to activate, just in the AB Section, which monitors Mongolia, Russia, China and Japan and a few other insignificant countries and we lost all signals and input from them for a few days, but we eventually acquired all of them back on line, we did lose a few days intel though, no harm no foul, so, how are you, Dooley?"

"Good, Charley, you know, samo, samo. Did you part from the PO department amicably?"

"Well, not exactly, Joe. The main PO building there in Washington has a few sub basements that are highly classified, very secret, only a few people know about them. I didn't even know about them till one day we had a large shipment of mail come in from China and the sniffing dogs went nuts, they howled and barked for an hour. With all my experience, they sent me down there to sort it all. I was having a bad day, my morning order for coffee at Starbucks got messed up and I ended up with regular, strong, black coffee instead of decaf, and it, well, I took a trip to the moon, you know what I mean. Well, to make a long story short, I misjudged a few pieces of critical mail, and well, to be honest about it, a few bombs of different sorts got through, and, well, when they hit the MicroSensUnit, well, they exploded. It coulda happened to anyone. Actually, about eight bombs went off and, well, it pretty much did in that whole section. They were nice about it, I got a nice severance thing, all my PER, well, they even gave me a bonus if I left, had never heard of them doing that. I bought a new boat to run down on the river, I guess I'm not meant to be on the water, I didn't clear the gas fumes, and well, had a fire, totalled the boat, got an insurance settlement, so didn't lose anything, money wise. You don't happen to need a new boat trailer, do you Joe?"

We talked a while longer, wished him well in his new job ...... "what you tripped on what?"

Bomber moved ...

Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has been moved from the civilian hospital where he had been held since his capture to a federal medical detention center in central Massachusetts, the U.S. Marshals Service said.

Tsarnaev left Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center overnight and was taken to the Federal Medical Center Devens about 39 miles west of Boston, the U.S. Marshals Service said Friday.

More on Oops Parkinson

A number of people have inquired about Charlie "Oops" Parkinson. Some asked if he was in Waco, Texas recently, and the answer to that is no.

Oops started his unusual career with the post office department where he worked in the sorting department in the "hazardous mail" room located  thirty miles outside of Washington in a very remote area. He was ultimately promoted to the "bomb" sorting department, where he was put in charge of  Section 31, which was a highly classified division of the post office department. Any package received in the Washington area that was either suspicious or "ticking" as Oops called it came to his attention.

After a brief stay at Sunny Hills, a "retreat" for victims of nervous disorders and job related "issues," Oops was transferred to the Yorktown Naval Weapons Station located in Yorktown Virginia, where he became an instructor in the Bomb Disposal School.

He was employed there until June of 2011, when he accidentally dropped an NP3475 detonating device which set off an electrical explosion and initiated a chain reaction with resulting explosions in the base commanders office, the communications center, the PX and the officers club. Fortunately the base commander was playing golf, the communications center was closed and both the PX and the officers club were in the process of being downsized as a result of an austerity program that had been recently initiated by the base adjutant.

More recently, Oops is in a highly classified position in a secret "black ops" unit operating overseas in an unknown location. In his last telephone call to his "handler," as they are called, he indicated that all was well, his duties were a bit hazardous, to say the least, and before he could finish the call he had accidentally dropped his cell phone into a sink full of hot soapy water. ...... oops!