Oops Promoted TinC

Another SPOOF .... I have written about Charley before ......

A heretofore unknown flaw in the Promotion Procedure in the Department of Defense, has elevated Charley "Oops" Parkinson to head one of the most sensitive units in the agency. To a certain extent, Oops will have his finger on the "red button" which could start a war, or worse, end civilization as we know it today.

Parkinson recently headed up the "Suspicious Mail" division of the Post Office Department and was personally responsible for detecting "foreign" substances in a number of envelopes received by prominent politicians in Washington. It was unfortunate that he accidentally dropped three of the envelopes, spreading a dreaded virus throughout the room. Seven were hospitalized, five have been released and the remaining two are in ICU at Walter Reed Hospital.

In a recent interview, Oops was quoted as saying, "Accidents happen, yea, maybe I've had more than my share, OK, a lot more. Sorry, I didn't mean to spill that hot coffee on you, I can tell by your reaction that it was really hot. Now, where were we, (muffled voices) I thought you were holding the mike, eeww, are those camera expensive?"

Parkinson will take over his new duties at the AEC in thirty days. He is currently teaching a class in "Safe Handling" at the Bomb Disposal training facility in Yuma, Arizona.

In a telephone interview, Oops stated, "I look forward to having my finger on the red button,  .... sorry, I dropped the phone."

Little Foot Spotted in Africa TinC

Ben Africa, noted authority on African animals, and recent "chair" in the athletic department at Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana revealed that he had possibly discovered a "Little Foot" in the Juba area in South Sudan.

He admitted that they were looking for a cache of stolen jewels, that had been reported to be hidden in that area by Bono Banghezzi, a noted jewel thief who had been incarcerated in the Maula prison and admitted to the theft prior to his incarceration.

Africa related how he had tripped on a fallen Baobab limb and noticed small footprints in the muddy terrain, and as he looked up, he caught a glimpse of a small furry figure running into the bush. He said the odor of cucumbers lingered in the air. "It was kinda like that salad thing, you know with the cucumbers and the onions, and I think vinegar, and some folks add a little sugar to it, quite good," he stated.

His sighting have re-invigorated the hunt for the furry little, thought to be, mythical creature.

Chauncy Daubenmire,  area game warden chimed in, "We would like to locate a Little Foot, perhaps a link to the past, an unknown part of the puzzle, located, and, I suppose in a selfish way, we would like him to perhaps, well, there are so many fur balls under the furniture at the Game Warden Lounge, well, we thought that maybe, well he's not very tall, well, you get the picture, and he may be able to perform his dusting without our purchasing a mop, all that fur."

Weiner under the knife TinC

Another SPOOF entry. I made it to the top 10, and am the featured writer today. For those who are not aware, this is a MADE UP story ... I get in those moods sometimes .........

Arnold Schnarzy, a reporter with SCHLEEZ magazine, sensational expose periodical being printed in Bozeman, Montana, in the latest issue, revealed that Anthony Weiner, whose internet behavior forced him to resign his congressional seat in 2011, has, in fact, undergone "enlargement" surgery at El Hospital Muy Grande, located in Rosarito, Mexico, near Tijuana.

"I just found about it by accident," Arnold stated. "My family and I were vacationing at the Rosarito Beach Hotel, and we were out walking, and our youngest, Jimmy, was hungry, and we found a little food cart, I asked the guy for a weiner and he pointed to the hospital, so we went in to get a hot dog, and there was this guy sitting by the front window, with ah, well, a large bandage sticking out of his robe, and he looked at me and said, "I'm Weiner,' so that's how I found out."

They chatted for a while, and Weiner admitted that he had been embarrassed by his on line fotos and intended to run for office again, and wanted to be "better represented" when he posted them this time.

"I don't want to be caught short, this time," Weiner chided.

Don't do as I do, do as I say...........

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The officer in charge of the U.S. Air Force effort to curb sexual assault in the military was arrested over the weekend for allegedly grabbing a woman by the breasts and buttocks in a parking lot not far from the Pentagon, officials said on Monday.

Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Krusinski, 41, was arrested on Sunday and charged with sexual battery after the alleged incident in the Crystal City area of suburban Arlington, Virginia, officials said.

An Arlington County Police spokesman said the woman fended off Krusinski, who was under the influence of alcohol, and when he attempted to grab her a second time she was able to call the police, who arrived a short time later and detained him.

Krusinski initially was held on a $5,000 unsecured bond. He has since posted bond and been released from the Arlington County Detention Facility, said the spokesman, who confirmed Krusinski's name and arrest but did not have his rank or title with the Air Force.

The Air Force said that Krusinski, whom it identified as a lieutenant colonel, had been removed from his job as chief of the service's sexual assault prevention and response branch after his arrest. The branch is responsible for overseeing the Air Force's sexual assault prevention effort.

News of the arrest came as the Pentagon is preparing to release its annual report on the problem of sexual assault in the military.

This more like something I would make up for my SPOOF site ... unfortunately it is true, unbelievable.............

This looks so good .....

STUFFED ITALIAN BREAD

1 Italian loaf, about 12 inches long
1 stick butter, melted
1/8 cup olive oil
3 tsp minced onion
2-3 cloves garlic, grated
1 tbsp dijon mustard
1 tbsp poppy seeds
3 tsp chopped parsley (add more if you wish)
12 oz grated cheese
(I used a mix of white cheddar and monterey jack.)

Preheat the oven to 350 F.

Mix the melted butter, olive oil, onion, garlic, dijon mustard, poppy seeds and parsley in a bowl.

Cut the bread into cubes with X slices without cutting all the way through the bottom crust.

Pour the butter-onion garlic mixture carefully into those X cracks using a small spoon and over the top of the bread. Fill those delicious cracks with the grated cheese.
(It seems like a lot of work and trouble but it's all worth it. Yes.)

Wrap the entire loaf with foil, sealing the sides properly and bake for 15-20 minutes. Remove from the oven and unwrap. Bake for another 10 minutes until the cheese is melted and gooey.

FBI: Minnesota raid disrupts planned terror attack

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — FBI officials said Monday that they foiled a terrorism attack that was being planned in a small western Minnesota town, but they offered no details about the exact targets of the attack — or the motive of the man accused of having a cache of explosives and weapons in a mobile home.

The FBI said "the lives of several local residents were potentially saved" with the arrest of Buford Rogers, 24, who made his first appearance Monday in U.S. District Court in St. Paul on one count of being a felon in possession of a firearm.

Rogers, of Montevideo, was arrested Friday after authorities searched a mobile home he's associated with and found Molotov cocktails, suspected pipe bombs and firearms, according to a court affidavit.

"The FBI believed there was a terror attack in its planning stages, and we believe there would have been a localized terror attack, and that's why law enforcement moved quickly to execute the search warrant on Friday to arrest Mr. Rogers," FBI spokesman Kyle Loven said Monday.

He said the investigation is ongoing, and agents are looking at the case as one of domestic terrorism.

Where are they now?

OSAMA BIN LADEN - Bin Laden, the mastermind of the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks was buried at sea after Navy SEALs killed him in a 2011 raid on his compound in Pakistan.

TED BUNDY - His body was cremated. There was no public funeral.

JEFFREY DAHMER - His father, Lionel Dahmer, favored cremation, saying that is what his son wanted. Eventually, Jeffery Dahmer's brain and body were cremated and the ashes were divided between his mother and father after a judge decided the brain should be cremated.

ADOLF HITLER - His remains were exhumed in the 1970s and incinerated. The ashes were flushed into the city's sewage system.

DYLAN KLEBOLD AND ERIC HARRIS - Klebold's family had him cremated, according to the Rev. Don Marxhausen, who presided at his funeral.

Harris' family has never publicly revealed his final resting place.

ADAM LANZA - Lanza's father, Peter Lanza, of Stamford, Conn., claimed his son's body. There were "private arrangements," according to a family spokesman, who did not elaborate on what those arrangements were.

TIMOTHY MCVEIGH - McVeigh's body was taken to a local funeral home, where he was cremated and his ashes were given to one of his attorneys. In a letter to The Buffalo (N.Y.) News, McVeigh had said he wanted his ashes scattered at a secret location.

LEE HARVEY OSWALD - His body was exhumed in 1981 from a cemetery in Fort Worth, Texas, to put to rest theories that Oswald's body wasn't actually there. Authorities used dental records to conclude the remains did, indeed, belong to the man who shot the president in 1963. The body was then reburied at Rose Hill Memorial Cemetery in Fort Worth.

POL POT - The toppled Khmer Rouge leader died in the Cambodian jungle at age 73 in 1998, cheating pursuers who believed they were days away from capturing him for prosecution in the deaths of as many as 2 million countrymen. He ruled Cambodia from 1975 to 1979, seeking to create a Marxist agrarian regime but leaving one person in five dead of starvation, illness or execution. The despot was cremated on a pile of used car tires and furniture on Dangrek Mountain, just about a mile from the border with Thailand. His unguarded grave site is now a mound of earth marked by bottles stuck into the ground, protected by a rusting, corrugated iron roof. A few wilting flowers sprouted around the unguarded grave site, which officials complain has been virtually stripped of Pol Pot's cremated remains by foreign tourists.

OH NO = OH YES!

A woman in California made a a little mistake when she chose her lottery ticket last week and it ended up winning her $14 million.

ABC reports that Thuan Le, a single mother with four sons, purchases her lottery ticket at CVS every Wednesday. Le usually spends five dollars, four on Powerball tickets and one on a SuperLotto Plus ticket. Last week, however, she accidentally put $6 into the machine.

Le decided to use her $1 dollar mistake to buy an extra SuperLotto Plus ticket. Well, turns out that she made a pretty good decision. Le just won $14 million.

The California Lottery writes on its website: “She accidentally put $6 in the self-service terminal and bought her tickets. When she realized she still had $1 in credit, she thought, ‘I might as well get another SuperLotto Plus ticket.’ That 6th ticket was the winner.”

According to a press release from the California lottery, Le was excited, really, really excited, when she realized that she won the lottery.

OMG What next?

The creator of what's being called the world's first 3-D-printed handgun is coming under fire from lawmakers concerned that anyone with a 3-D printer and an Internet connection will be able to print an untraceable arsenal.

Cody Wilson, the 25-year-old founder of Defense Distributed, is expected to release his controversial blueprint for the gun—called the "Liberator"—online this week, according to Forbes.

The report immediately drew the ire of both New York Rep. Steve Israel, who called for a renewal of the Undetectable Firearms Act, and New York Sen. Chuck Schumer, who called use of the technology “stomach-churning.”

“Security checkpoints, background checks and gun regulations will do little good if criminals can print plastic firearms at home and bring those firearms through metal detectors with no one the wiser," Israel said in a statement on Friday. "When I started talking about the issue of plastic firearms months ago, I was told the idea of a plastic gun is science-fiction. Now that this technology is proven, we need to act now."

Defense Distributed announced plans to create the world's first entirely printable handgun last year. In March, the company obtained a federal license as a gun manufacturer.

"The Wiki Weapon project," as it's described on Defense Distributed's website, is "a nonprofit effort to create freely available plans for 3D printable guns."

“This gun can fire regular bullets,” Schumer said, according to the Daily News. “Now anyone, a terrorist, someone who is mentally ill, a spousal abuser, a felon, can essentially open a gun factory in their garage. It must be stopped.”

Wilson, a self-described “free-market anarchist” and University of Texas law student, is keenly aware of the controversy.

"You can print a lethal device," Wilson told Forbes last year. "It's kind of scary, but that's what we're aiming to show."

RIP Barb

Is that not a beautiful family, Barb is on the left..

Our family lost a very dear friend, yesterday, who lived in New York. Barbara Bozydaj apparently had some complications after a surgery, and did not pull through. Her daughter said she seemed so much better yesterday morning, and then. I think that often happens, where, God, in his infinite wisdom, lets us have some quality minutes to remember forever, before our loved ones go to be with Him.

This is her Facebook post this morning, I don't think she will mind if I share it with you all ........

"The night sky is filled with so many beautiful shining stars and one of them is my Mom. Forever in our hearts. I love you, Mom. I am so thankful to have had Saturday for those few hours to see you feeling well and full of life. I especially am thankful for you leaving a message to be awaken when I called to check on you Sunday morning. I will always cherish our last mother daughter talk by phone. I will continue to talk through our mother daughter bond. Love you forever."

Nice.

The Five Borough Bike Race

The Five Borough bike race is today. I had participated in it twice, what a great time we had doing it. My daughter lives in New York, and it was through her that we did it. It is such a great way to see the city, get some exercise and rife forty miles with thirty thousand or so bikers.

Been a whole since we did it, not sure the year. One year I had a tape recorder mounted on the handle bars and had a tape of the of the Ohio State Marching Band playing their fight song. I played that as I rode along until someone got tired of it, took it out of the tape player and through it into, I think maybe, the Hudson River. At the start of the race I was interviewed on TV about the music and our group.

We rode up the Avenue of the Americas, Wall Street, and into Central Park. I think we had 24 thousand that year, and a memory of that day, well they could not have enough "facilities" in Central Park for that many people, so the hill, was the best place to go .... Looking up that hill at ... so many .... women's butts, a scene to remember. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

The ride ends up in Staten Island, and we took the ferries back to South Seaport. I remember an Irish bar of some sort, where our bunch headed and spent a bit of time, perhaps too much.

Two incidents I vividly remember. I was wearing biker tights, royal blue. I remember out waitress, as I was heading to the restroom saying to me, "Does your Momma know you're wearing those?" I guess I did look pretty silly, but, so did everyone else.

Driving home, very late, or, very early, in New York City, and I was following my daughter, who knew New York. I could not lose her or we might be lost, forever. At that time she lived in Beacon, NY. I had to go to  the bathroom. I could not stop, I had to continue driving. All we had was a Coke bottle, and I had underwear and those tights on. We made it to Beacon.

Fun rides, what my highlight reels are made of. I think one of those years was the "Hands Across America" event, and we held our hands on the Beacon-Newburg Bridge. People as far as we could see, in either direction. A rather emotional experience when you realized the enormity of it.

One year, son Brad did not ride, but met up with my New York son, Dean, they hung out in the city and were to meet us at South Seaport. They thought one fellow was having car trouble and stopped to help him. Then, they realized he was stripping the car, they had helped.

This year, NO back packs, understandably. It is quite an event, think about it for next year.

Pills Are Us reveal new product

Another SPOOF ... no truth to this .... I'm on a "spoof roll" ...... or something

It has finally happened, and we knew it would

The APA, American Pharmaceutical Association, revealed today that "Pills Are Us," a pharmaceutical company in Southbend, Oregon, which is just South of Bend, Oregon, after seven years of exhaustive research and testing has developed a "prescription only" medication whose "side effects" far outweigh any benefits that might be received by the patient.

Harley DeFontaine, Director of New Products at PAU, when queried about the product revealed that recent test studies showed that the "placebo" taken by some in the study actually had more beneficial effects on the patients than the product being tested. DeFontaine stated, "There were a few side effects with the new product, some in the study showed a few signs of nausea, jaundice, headache, a burning sensation in the left foot, skin rashes, internal bleeding, low sugar, high blood pressure, bloating, and three of the ten test subjects were actually hospitalized, and one of the three was listed in critical condition. These results, basically, are rather standard for the industry, we have found."

Davis advertising of New York City is currently producing a television commercial for the product which may be unique to the industry. The side effects of the product are so extensive that a full thirty minute commercial is considered, with thirty seconds devoted to the benefits of the product.

DeFontaine added, "With that many side effects, it must be good for something, we just don't know what, as of now."

Not to be outdone ..........

This is another SPOOF item I did, NO TRUTH to any of it .

Not to be outdone by Kroger's and some other grocery chains, Walmart has installed "infa-red" sensors in all of their stores, which will indicate the number of customers in the store, which will enable them to close lanes so that all open registers will have at least ten people waiting in line.

Monica DeWise, Walmart representative stated, "We like to see them in line at least fifteen minutes, that way they can have time to shop all of those what we call "impulse" items that must be passed prior to reaching a register. Chewing gum, candy bars, magazines and those revealing little newspapers, key chains and little flashlights are big mark-up items for us, so we have to do what we can to make sure they move out of the store."

Charles McKeowan, manager of a super store in Jackson Heights, Missouri, chimed it, "It's our low prices that bring them in to the store, that's the bottom line, our new motto is, "Give them low prices, and they will come, regardless of how long it takes to get out of the store."

The "sensors" should be in all stores by the end of the Summer.

Porch ramblings ..........

Sitting out on the porch, drinking coffee and enjoying the 62 degree temperature. The trees are swaying to a gentle breeze, the sky is blue with some powder puff white clouds, and the sun is shining brightly. Pleasant day.

Right here, at this moment, there is peace. GOOGLE MAP VIEW

This is old, the cars are ours, we have an umbrella table and chairs on the porch, and the day they did that filming was cloudy and foggy, but it is still a source of amazement how they do it.

We used to have a map of Ohio, which had some city maps of larger cities. The best they could do was to give you directions to a city. Now, the state, the city, the street and the house, either from overhead or in front. And, I just learned, If I had 3D glasses, I can view it in 3D, how cool is that?

I was conversing this morning with a friend, on the phone, and he was concerned about a county issue, and I got to wondering, where and how, do people, anymore, get local news. Our local newspaper is nothing, not sure what their circulation is, but I know we don't get it, and I don't know who does. Columbus Ohio TV news is primarily about Columbus. They do some local, but it has to be sensational to do that. How do we get local, everyday news.

I absolutely refuse to pay, to go online, to read news from our local newspaper. So, where does local news come from anymore. I don't think they do. I think local politicians can "have their way with us" if they wish, because, very few are aware of what is going on.

People used to eat a the Sparta and talk about things, including local issues. We had many such small restaurants that were that way. We all had breakfast together, also lunch. Fast food is not conducive to conversation. I'm sure there are some who are completely "up to date," but very few.

I think the "politically active" are more concerned about Obama and national events, not local. This is not healthy, I think it opens the door to local abuse, by politicians, who seemingly can do what they want because there are no informed citizens to answer to.

It is a nice day though, gotta go, need more coffee ................

Obama speaks at OSU commencement TinC

This is a SPOOF contribution to my SPOOF site .... NO truth to it whatsoever ............ all done in jest ......... and good humor .....

"I want to speak to you all today on gun control."

The 2013 graduates at The Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio, listened in amazement as his commencement address  was nothing more than his views on gun control.

Then he added, "It's you guys fault also that they have all those guns in Mexico, yes, you and you and you," as he gestured around the giant horseshoe shaped stadium, pointing to various graduates.

"And, another thing," he went on, "that Benghazi thing, it's over, do you hear me, it's history, finished, done, so don't any of you graduates bring it up again."

"As you leave this hallowed institution of learning, and football, and more recently some basketball, also the ladies and their basketball and don't forget softball, and a special thanks to Donnie Darrm the golf coach who gave me some pointers and has arranged for me to play The Ohio State University Golf Course after we get done here, ha, I forgot what I was going to say, anyway, take with you these thoughts, gun control and healthcare."

"I would be remiss also, if I did not thank Dr. Gee, the president of this great Midwestern institution from whom I have learned a great deal, primarily, excessive spending, thank you, Doctor Gee, and thank you all, don't want to miss my tee time."

Observation

One interesting article I found this morning and was going to share,  was How To Turn Down The Heat On Fiery Family Arguments.

From personal experience here, when my wife and I have a little disagreement, about anything, all of our kids, neighbors and friends ........... get up and leave. How great is that, we can control them.

The older I get, apparently, so I've been told by my wife, that I am crotchety, among other things, and laundry list of things, actually ............ so no one visits very long with us, anymore........

A prayer, please

A dear friend of  ours needs your prayers this morning.

Barbara Bozydaj had surgery a few days ago, a lengthy one, but was doing better this morning, and then took a turn for the worse.

HE knows Barb, so please include her in your prayers this morning, she, her husband, daughter and grand daughters need them. I just talked with the daughter.

I know I said one more, but just listen to this ...........

In some respects I think this is one of  the most fitting tributes to George Jones.

It is Vince Gill and Patty Lovelace singing at the funeral.

Vince is unable to sing it as he should .......... but gives an emotional rendition with his guitar

Many, in the audience, arose, as if to lend their support. Garth Brooks was the first.

I think, some, in the audience, helped him with the last verse .............

LISTEN TO IT HERE

It's Derby time .................

Yes, my eyes are filled with tears, I just listened to "My Old Kentucky Home" at the Derby. I have heard that many times, used to listen to it on the radio and many years on television. One of the GREAT moments in sports, quite an event.

I have sat in the chair, at the desk of Stephen Foster, who wrote the song.

The Derby is special, one of those moments I never forget.

Now for the race .... oh, after this commercial, I hate that ...........................

Derby Classic: Kentucky Hot Browns Recipe

The History of Kentucky Hot Browns 


In the 1920s, dinner dances at Louisville's Brown Hotel drew more than 1,000 guests. During band breaks, hungry revelers refueled on chef Fred Schmidt's late-night eats. His signature? The Kentucky Hot Brown, a pillowy cushion of toasted bread topped with sliced turkey and an avalanche of Mornay sauce-all broiled until golden brown. Crisp bacon strips and tomato added the final flourish.


Kentucky Hot Browns 
4 thick white bread slices
3/4 pound sliced roasted turkey
Mornay Sauce
1 cup (4-oz.) shredded Parmesan cheese
3 plum tomatoes, sliced
8 bacon slices, cooked

Preparation: 
1. Preheat broiler with oven rack 6 inches from heat. Place bread slices on a baking sheet and broil 1 to 2 minutes on each side or until toasted.
2. Arrange bread slices in 4 lightly greased broiler-safe individual baking dishes. Top bread with turkey slices. Pour hot Mornay Sauce over turkey. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.
3. Broil 6 inches from heat 3 to 4 minutes or until bubbly and lightly browned; remove from oven. Top sandwiches with tomatoes and bacon. Serve immediately.

Mornay Sauce 
1/2 cup butter
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
3 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup (2-oz.) shredded Parmesan cheese
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
Preparation: 
Melt butter in a 3-qt. saucepan over medium-high heat. Whisk in flour; cook, whisking constantly, 1 minute. Gradually whisk in milk. Bring to a boil, and cook, whisking constantly, 1 to 2 minutes or until thickened. Whisk in Parmesan cheese, salt, and pepper.